REVAMP

Okay. Blog is now revamped!

Damn awesome fonts are now discovered by yours truly! I say, this is 90% similar to my actual real handwriting. It's unbelievable, feels like as though I am really 'writing'!

I think my twitter widget be working sooner or ir not, then later.

Hopes my readers out there would get used to this font interface soon. Or if not, then please comment and feedback in the sweet ol' 'Punch Out' Tagboard!

Been working on this shit for HOURS, and it's always nearly 100% rewarding to see the efforts being shown in satisfaction. I sure am right now!

Till the NEXT post!

Fucked Up even after exams.

I want to shout out all the stuff that is still bothering my mind.

Really, it sucks. Rather than feeling happy about the fact that I am free from any fucking exams and the sickening, screwed polytechnic education, and celebrating it joyously with a heave of immense relief, I found myself still troubled and mentally loaded. Why?

Is it because of the fact that I had so MUCH to be concerned and think about up to this point. Now to calmly think about it and taking some time to find out, I really had a lot of suppressed, immense load of depressive thoughts. Too long to list. I don't even dare to begin on this post. I will reserve it for the next one. Seriously, I would've died of mental stress and become unable to sit for the 5 exam papers with mind at ease. Whew, close shave.

And one more thing. My fucking brother sucks to the very maximum it can get. He's a selfish bastard. Only comes to you like a dog when he needed help. Fuck him to the bloody maximum. He doesn't care any bit in family relations, as well as related issues. He's not worth the effort to lend him or offer him any fucking stuff at all.

God, why am I so mentally weighed down? Gosh, feel like breaking down to someone that I could confide in, Now the great confidant, who is yours truly, of all times, is seeking comfort now. Seriously amazed by how serious this situation could get.

T.T

Feeling Achieved over Summarizing

Yes. I do feel achieved. For summarizing and creating my beloved barely-2-sided-page notes for the WHOLE semester of a sickening module called Product Design & Development, PDD. Got lots of chunky 30++pg lecture, and I managed to shrink them to just ... ... one bloody piece of paper? Damn, I'm good at this.

But only for myself to be understood. I don't think there's gonna be another one person on this planet who would appreciate and understand my methodology HEHEHE.

Well, Shouldn't stay here for long though, got an exam in like less than 12 hours.

*Hoping to log off before 10 minutes*

Dejection. Sadded.

I kinda felt disappointed with myself. For doing that bad in the most important, and last-chance exam papers.

They were super tough. Well, at least for 1 out of the 3 out of the 5 for this week, it was okay.

I hate myself. For not being able to gauge everything in importance. End up to be like a wasted chap, sitting in the exam half for 2 of the papers feeling dejected greatly. I was too tired mentally and physically (hand) that I gave up writing and regurgitating information. I just gave up. 

It's as if my hand was talking to my brain: "Hey, you know what, just start giving it up, even if you feel like salvaging by writing bullshit. Face it. You're not making it."

I felt like I lost hope. Seriously. 

Being a student in SCL drives people to their brakdown moments. In the exam hall, I totally blew it. Even if I knew perfectly that I had to continue writing, I didn't. I did what I knew was not correct!

I think I'm losing all of it. I need fresh, new HOPE.

Damn, Feeling busted.

I might be having some kind of lung infection. Doctor @SGH gave me orders to pop down 11 tablets every morning, until the next appointment 3 weeks later. When I initially heard the news (sorry, personal), I wasn't that affected. Cause I was alone, no one accompanied me there. After I went out of the clinic, was waiting for my medicines to be collected. Just then, mummy called. Then I broke down a little. The tears streaked down so automatically.

I guess that also affected my mood and focus in the exams revision. Not been diligent enough, I guess. My mind was pretty occupied with loads of thoughts. Preoccupied. I need something to forget about the existence of my condition.

I must persevere for the exams, even if it is so tough. I must get a good-enough GPA, so that I won't feel wasted for 3 entire years.

And I am gonna be better.