YOU & I

GOSH.


It's been a long time since I (came around) came to blog, been a long time but I'm (back in town) blogging now, this time I'm not leaving  without you.

Have not cut / trimmed hair yet, though it has got mixed reviews...

I can't believe it. a literal MIA on blogger for more than 5 months! Yikes... guess I have been busy like hell since graduation ceremony had officially blown over.

Well, this is partly because of  a change in user preferences. I mainly use twitter now, because it's freaking convenient to tweet instantly, or still better, save up the drafts like sms-es, then tweet the when you feel like it. Followers and following makes the whole communication process super cohesive. Follow me on twitter if you like! @Murph200491

Back to topic. Working hard to Spend and Enjoy hard most of my time. NS hasn't managed to arrest me into their camps yet, which is unusually long. I guess because of my lung problem that I had to take some medication for another 6 months. Still, they haven't confirmed when I'll be going in yet. All my close guy friends has already gone into NS already! I'm left here like on tenterhooks.

Been down on my luck with my earphones recently. They spoil withing weeks, or within months. I don't know why I am so unlucky and downright stupid when handling, storing or either using them. One earphone got dented when the whole R-side earphone unit got crushed under a taxi door!!!!!!!!! The other earphone I bought earlier on has to behead it's 3.5mm audio jack by someone who SAT on my bag, that had my earphones in them. FUCK IT. Been surfing over websites like Audio Technica, Sony, MONSTER for good earphones, but compromising on what I get with the budget limit I set. Still, no yielding results. Indecisive dude here ya!


Anyway, enough about the unhappy stuff now. I feel really determined to get a good lasting earphone, a music player, a phone that has internet yet approved in NS, new entries into my wardrobe and a fat bank account.


Anyway, I shouldn't be up this late anymore. Too unhealthy. I need more sleep, because I have been working hard lately, for that FAT and FED satisfied bank account. I also need to curb my splurge power! It's driving me crazy and... alright, time to reall stop now. See ya soon bloghoppers. If I ever have the chance to blog more.

Go the Extra Mile for Service? Am I a GEMS? HAHAHA

I promised to blog about my eventful days working @HOGPL. Now here goes:

There was one particular day that started very badly. An old lady actually had the oldest guts in this world, to scold me 'STUPID'. Fuck up bitch. I instantly fired up and flamed through my head man. I walked round and was chanting "okay!" under my breath. She kept glaring at me after she was forced to change seats by yours truly. And heres the deal, she was the one at fault first, for seating on someone else's taken seats. She just was blind enough to NOT see the 'RESERVED' signs on that table is it? She can still tell me "Is there a name on the table?" Fuck man. She's too old and cranky for me to handle. I kept muttering "stupid" under my breath everytime I walked past her. Fucking bitch. I'm not as STUPID as you think. At least I didn't lose control over your useless existence on this world.

Now moving on to the nicer events. There was a long queue I was just finished managing with. No more tables left, and there was this old uncle who apparently was a first timer. He's carrying 2 big bags of NTUC stuff. I asked him whether he minded sharing a seat with another single seater; a Indonesian Woman. She didn't mind mah. And the uncle asked whether she minded beforehand. So he went in to take his seat and put his stuff down. So I left, but I found out the old guy kept seated down. I offered to help him order his stuff. Then he asked me what's good at Pepper Lunch. I said the Pepper Steak :) :)
He wanted salmon as well. So I pointed out Salmon & Chicken. He didn't want that. So I thought of the Promotion Rib & Salmon. He said "It's good". Then He thought it's those poshy places, where you dine first before you make payment. But it wasn't mah, So I offered to help him pay for his order. Before I left for the cashier, he was saying "Ohhh, you're really kind.". The opposite Indonesian woman also nodded in earnest leh, while sipping her drink. I felt sooooooooooo good. I then returned his change, and then it wasn't long before the two of them got their orders and started dining. What surprised me was after this whole epidsode near the end.
I was still walking around the dining area, then I went to wipe some cutlery I think. The Indonesian lady was asking me where she could put her comment feedback form. For a split second I thought she could be praising me. I told her where, and she added a comment to me "Oooooh, Murphy, you are VERY kind and helpful!" before she left. *GLOWERING with PRIDE* There was something he said about, that amused me. The Indonesian woman was having Salmon Pepper Rice, and when I served her, the Old guy was like, "Ohhh. That looks good. Maybe I'll try it next time I'm here." Ahahahaha XD
Then I was clearing the shitload of trays. Moving in & out of the dining area, carrying 3 by 3 stacked hotplate trays. Halfway through, I was serving something to another customer. After that, I saw the old guy leaving. But he was calling me. So I went to offer him more help, if needed. Instead, he pushed a folded $2 bill into my hands.

(O.O)
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I tried running after him to return the money. I felt overwhelmed by gratitude, but something told me I musn't accept his money. I went after him, but all he did was to refuse me flatly, and he said something that really struck to the very core of my heart.

"No no no! Please take it. It's for your great service and helpfulness. I'll definitely come back here to eat again!"

On a Camera Rampage

Fujifilm Rampage!

FinePix F500EXR Totally drives me mad. I really feel like owning one sia... Hahaha. Its gonna be the coolest stuff I'll ever hope to own! I just love the flashlight popping out, despite it being a digicam. It looks every inch like what I thought of buying. This is the highest posibility out of the digicams I featured in this blog post, that I'll set my mind on buying! ^^

Check it out in FinePix F500EXR Official Website!

FinePix X100 looks kickass professional and stylo-milo for me. But that doen't stop me from loving it! OH MY GOD. Looks perfectly the photographer when strung onto anyone. I just love that rustic, vintage-look to it!

Check it out in FinePix X100 Official Website!

FinePix Z800EXR looks like it could do with me in my hands sitting comfortably and snugy :) I wannntttttttt~ Especially when its got RED colour, all sleek and glossy. Whats more, the front cover looks so stylish, and the screen is soooo BIG, WIDE and fully touch-sensitive. You can now browse photos like a touch-screen phone yay! :P

Check FinePix Z800 out NOW!

Graduate!

For once, I'm really, really relieved. Greatly.

CAUSE I CAN GRADUATE! WHEEEEE! I didn't fail anything, I got the required amount of module credits to do so, and I AM LEAVING NYP, for F*** SAKE. I HAD ENOUGH! YAY.

For the last hurdle, I was surprised at the grades. I thought I did badder than that! So, in overall, it's rather positive for me!

I should learn to be self-contented. Whatever grades I get reflect the person I am to be, right? No point trying to change so hard till it alienates you into a machine. So, I am really grateful for literally everything.

One D+, rest all either B+, B or C+ or C+. I'm grateful for not getting F's... ...

They're mailing something called transcript, and then the conferment letter to me. I CAN'T WAIT.

Thanks to the Power of the Gohonzon! You made me ride through this terrible ordeal!

:D

Desire for the Voice

Oh gosh. I have the sudden urge of a becoming a very great singer.

Blame it on Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Hudson. Those people make me want to own that god-so-good vocals.

I don't even really know how to begin this little dream of mine. Vocal lessons anyone? Belting? I would love to though.

REVAMP

Okay. Blog is now revamped!

Damn awesome fonts are now discovered by yours truly! I say, this is 90% similar to my actual real handwriting. It's unbelievable, feels like as though I am really 'writing'!

I think my twitter widget be working sooner or ir not, then later.

Hopes my readers out there would get used to this font interface soon. Or if not, then please comment and feedback in the sweet ol' 'Punch Out' Tagboard!

Been working on this shit for HOURS, and it's always nearly 100% rewarding to see the efforts being shown in satisfaction. I sure am right now!

Till the NEXT post!

Fucked Up even after exams.

I want to shout out all the stuff that is still bothering my mind.

Really, it sucks. Rather than feeling happy about the fact that I am free from any fucking exams and the sickening, screwed polytechnic education, and celebrating it joyously with a heave of immense relief, I found myself still troubled and mentally loaded. Why?

Is it because of the fact that I had so MUCH to be concerned and think about up to this point. Now to calmly think about it and taking some time to find out, I really had a lot of suppressed, immense load of depressive thoughts. Too long to list. I don't even dare to begin on this post. I will reserve it for the next one. Seriously, I would've died of mental stress and become unable to sit for the 5 exam papers with mind at ease. Whew, close shave.

And one more thing. My fucking brother sucks to the very maximum it can get. He's a selfish bastard. Only comes to you like a dog when he needed help. Fuck him to the bloody maximum. He doesn't care any bit in family relations, as well as related issues. He's not worth the effort to lend him or offer him any fucking stuff at all.

God, why am I so mentally weighed down? Gosh, feel like breaking down to someone that I could confide in, Now the great confidant, who is yours truly, of all times, is seeking comfort now. Seriously amazed by how serious this situation could get.

T.T

Feeling Achieved over Summarizing

Yes. I do feel achieved. For summarizing and creating my beloved barely-2-sided-page notes for the WHOLE semester of a sickening module called Product Design & Development, PDD. Got lots of chunky 30++pg lecture, and I managed to shrink them to just ... ... one bloody piece of paper? Damn, I'm good at this.

But only for myself to be understood. I don't think there's gonna be another one person on this planet who would appreciate and understand my methodology HEHEHE.

Well, Shouldn't stay here for long though, got an exam in like less than 12 hours.

*Hoping to log off before 10 minutes*

Dejection. Sadded.

I kinda felt disappointed with myself. For doing that bad in the most important, and last-chance exam papers.

They were super tough. Well, at least for 1 out of the 3 out of the 5 for this week, it was okay.

I hate myself. For not being able to gauge everything in importance. End up to be like a wasted chap, sitting in the exam half for 2 of the papers feeling dejected greatly. I was too tired mentally and physically (hand) that I gave up writing and regurgitating information. I just gave up. 

It's as if my hand was talking to my brain: "Hey, you know what, just start giving it up, even if you feel like salvaging by writing bullshit. Face it. You're not making it."

I felt like I lost hope. Seriously. 

Being a student in SCL drives people to their brakdown moments. In the exam hall, I totally blew it. Even if I knew perfectly that I had to continue writing, I didn't. I did what I knew was not correct!

I think I'm losing all of it. I need fresh, new HOPE.

Damn, Feeling busted.

I might be having some kind of lung infection. Doctor @SGH gave me orders to pop down 11 tablets every morning, until the next appointment 3 weeks later. When I initially heard the news (sorry, personal), I wasn't that affected. Cause I was alone, no one accompanied me there. After I went out of the clinic, was waiting for my medicines to be collected. Just then, mummy called. Then I broke down a little. The tears streaked down so automatically.

I guess that also affected my mood and focus in the exams revision. Not been diligent enough, I guess. My mind was pretty occupied with loads of thoughts. Preoccupied. I need something to forget about the existence of my condition.

I must persevere for the exams, even if it is so tough. I must get a good-enough GPA, so that I won't feel wasted for 3 entire years.

And I am gonna be better.

*Useless Parasite*

Why must it always be like this? 


Why must he always be like that in the apartment? Is he like that when he's with his gang of friends outside? Does he act like this useless, fucking lazy scumbag? That couldn't do anything useful enough to be labelled as useful? I'm perplexed and fucking mad.


Even though he's so popular with his gang of friends, does he practice what he preaches out their, in the family? WIll he EVER be like that? Will he FINALLY be able to communicate with his family, as well as he can do easily out there with his friends? I don't think that's possible. Will he ever remembered he had a family back in the apartment, or does he think he's the only soul in that 'house' he so calls?


Can he spare even 5 seconds to throw away his rubbish and garbage? No, he can't he has to say 'WAIT' without fail, every single time someone reminds him to do that. Though some or most of us in the family tends to get lazy at time, it's definitely not as persisting as he can be like. even if you throw the garbage in front of the room he lays, he can literally walk OVER the rubbish and then ignores its existence. WOW. This is some serious eye-brain related problem? Will he ever contribute to anything labourious in this house? will he START to do anything constructive besides his dancing, his friends, and his life? WIll it be even possible for him to not stay out till midnight every single day, if not once every 2 days? IMPOSSIBLE MAN! He practically behaves like he's living in a hostel. FUCK YOU, BITCH.


Not to mention the amount of food he eats. His bowl is alway choking full. He eats tidbits like it's rice. He finishes most of the food we intended to share and slowly enjoy over time. He destroys whatever hope we inject into the house. Whatever we tried to hopefully inject, he sucks it all out at the other end. I don't know, but he definitely eats, acts and behaves as a monster. Can't fucking stand his opinions. Why does he always think he's maligned? Is it really so? Or is it just another complete, ridiculous reasoning he tries to defend himself? I don't know!


I didn't mean to write yet another angry post, but it's intolerable. He's intolerable for existence. How to accept him for what he has been doing? Nobody can. Except for my mum. My dear mummy. who has been tolerating and bearing every single stupid action he does. For every hurtful action and comments he has said. For every single time he forgotten he has a mum that he should respect. If he ever read this post, I fucking don't care at all. He's already transformed into the stranger that I can vaguely remember as my sibling.

Fuck You, Bitch.


You're not going to fucking have your cake and eat it. You're fucking wanting your head to be chopped off like Medusa.


And stop proclaiming how your side is always the victims. Pull out those fucking useless eyes of yours through the eye sockets and see clearly: WE ARE THE ONES, NOT YOU. Therefore, YOU have no inch of fucking right to actually vulgarize our family. Fucking Ah Lian way STOP Telling me how maligned and tolerant you are. Stupid, FOUL FUCKING Mouth.


EVERY SINGLE TIME, the invitations are only we heard from Mum. NEVER ONCE did you FUCKING BOTHER to message us. OR PHONE US. FUCKER, go eat shit.


WHY? OH, cause YOU NEVER FUCKING BOTHERED MAH. NEVER FUCKING BOTHERED TO MSG / PHONE US for such stupid things. Everytime mum had to tell us last minute, and we have to rush down, for what? For pretence. sit down there, eat, pretend, pretend and more pretending. Stupid idiotic shits. Don't think only you are entitled to fucking scold ppl like that. I am ALSO ENTITLED.


STUPID BITCH.

POST IT - Beeeeeeeeelated.

Been a gazillion years (if what-not) since I ever came to this site for any visible updates.

I can't believe how busy I am emotionally, mentally and physically. Thanks that to the fucking schoolwork I have been slapped with. Projects after projects, only to be staring at yet more presentations after presentations.

Product Design & Development was torturous enough on its own. Trials of optimization, followed by testing of parameters, and then labelling design as well as the preparation for the food exhibition (poster and prototype samples). Not to mention the group tutorials that sucked like hell every single week. I don't know whether its the lecturer or its just the team members' problem. I believe it to be both though, in my own opinion. Why can't the tutorials be better? Gosh, I hate it everytime the tutorial presentation begins. It's p-p-personal.

Labelling & Regulatory Affairs were also another mental problem. Stupid regulations make you go nuts man, seriously. Lookin for them is even tougher than memorizing it, I SWEAR. It's hard to search for Australia's regulations! Everything about this module is completely F***care seriously! Presentations after presentations make me go sick in the face and in the body, looking through boring schedules and sections of food acts and regulations. I also feel f***ed for the projects, presentations and tutorials for this module. Seriously, I think I know the reason why. It's clear and obvious, yet I just didn't bothered about it in the start of everything. If only I had done it the other way...?

I'm glad Food Business was one  of the best modules of this semester. At least until before Financial Plans started. Now, I'm perplexed by Balance Sheet, Profit & Loss Statement and Cash Flow Statement. Hope I can manage!

Common test wasn't hopeful enough for me. I can't understand why I can't get better results... damn disappointed with fairly some of them. Of course, I deserved it right? Always the baddies (as I put) got better grades. I can't tolerate it, seriously! Damn, becoming angsty all of a sudden... *calms down*

I still have to clear up a shitload of assignments, reports and presentations before I'm officially cleared for the exams revision. I better become more focused and do more work then... tests coming up, and I'm not gonna fail them, or get just-pass marks liao. Hope I can gain back the confidence...

Seriously, it felt a bit better writing these stuff, of  what I've lacked in doing over the past 3 to 4 months. All that angst, stress and compromises I've made (be it in terms of teamwork, schoolwork, slacking excessively, everything what-not) seemed to bottle up and destroy most of my zeal and optimism for the better. They shouldn't stay in my body sia. It felt better now...

Life shouuldn't be so tensed up, I realized. Take some time out of the norm... You'll realize that once you stop for awhile, it falls on you that life is not all about grades, GPA and A's. It's about the amount of satisfaction you get from life.

I'll work harder for everything, despite saying that the grades didn't matter. Well, I'm still gonna pin hopes for a better GPA though 

:)

That's all for now. Should've slept hours ago. Gonna lack sleep soon. Oh, did I mention that I lacked sleep almost every week? Yes. 

I fucking hate Poly schooling~

HOW SIA?!

Okay, officially, everything is spoiling or breaknig down around me. Idiots...

Well, this is because of the first incident: My baobei laptop. Due to a very unjustified decision I made, It's spoilt. Really. I hate to say it, but well, WHY DID I LEND MY LAPTOP TO THAT GIRL? Idiot, now probably because of her, I may need to reformat my entire lappie. No, I should say I MUST reformat liao. My lappie's OS is cranked up now. From initially, the WiFi module stupid .dll file is gone for good.

"wlanutil.dll is not designed to run on Windows, or it contains a file error. You may try reinstalling using the appropriate media software, or contact your system administrator for help and support"

FUCK.

Better still, my computer can't locate the WiFi Page, or the Network & Sharing Center main page. Stupid, fucking awesome tragedy.

Then, it moved on to my precious Bluetooth Icon Tray... also displayed the same message.
Then, my precious RocketDock! Idiot, fucking insane now....

Luckily I bought a 500GB HDD from TGM, or else I seriously don't know HOW I can solve the entire thing.

However, things are still not progressing! COMMON TEST WEEK! SUCH A DANGEROUS PERIOD!

Charger is also SPOILING again!

MUMMY STEPPED on my specs, and it BROKE. FUCKING AWESOME.

Am currently hoping my common tests end soon, if not I seriously don't know how to solve everything.

Well, I am sure Friday really gave me the extremes. Like it always did.
Been pissed off to kickstart with, but as it approached towards the end of the day, I am happier at least, with imoto accompanying me to dinner and arcade spam session.

I especially need to announce to the world that jubeat severely requires more machines. Definitely more than 8, at least. Why is it the same with 2, 4 and 8 machines area? LOL. Singaporeans really need to revise their direction. It's either the iPhone 4, iPad, iPhone 3GS, iTouch and stupider things like that, and what's more, there's the damn korean wave that's been infecting people everywhere.

Go to the MRT: Every 5 persons, there are 3 of them tapping / shaking / swinging their iPhones.
Go to the school: Every 5 persons, 4 talks furiously about marrying K-pop stars, groups, fans and stuff like that.
Go to jubeat in acrades: Every 4 machines, 4 people are using them. _|_
These make me only think of one phrase to label these hopeless Singaporeans: COPYCATS. Their direction is the worst. I am lucky I am not any of these. Even though I am equally amazed by both Japanese and Korean Culture after shows like Dae Jang Geum, Cruel Temptation, etc.

Well, at least HP7.1 was somewhat satisfying enough to watch.

PISSED OFF~ period.

Do I feel angry? YES


Do I feel stressed? YES


Do I know myself to be late and slow? YES.


Do I hate that part about myself? YES.




Anger and Stress don't make good friends.


SERIOUS.


Don't ask me why. I will not tell anything bout it unless I am talking to the right person. 
Admits that I am slow in my delivery of work. I truly admit that. But hey, I f***ing hate your mannerisms. You make me so amazed, really. I am speechless.  Though I am slow, though I am late most of the time, so what? You gonna pin me down just because of that? Gosh. It feels so damn bad. I won't ever look at you in the same way again. Never again.


Youknow, that could be the first time I felt so relieved when I typed out F*** swear words. This time, it did.

Why must every module attempt to ultimately give me a headache?! Those timelines are seriously in need of a thrashing.

Can time really slow down when I am doing work? I really appreciate it if it's like that :P If not I will feel like I'm racing against time FOREVER & EVER.

Gonna Chiong for e-journal and CommSkills Resume skeleton...... hates them.

Meanwhile, is very determined to draw the below character for my file cover. ^^

WARNING! Biohazardous WORDS!

Whew. I'm glad those spammers are removed from my CBOX. Also revamped it.


I especially hate to scour through them JUST to look for my friend's comments.


They obviously lead you to a virus-filled webbie, if not then a porno webbie. Tch. They can't even be smarter enough. I think it's gonna take those fuckbrains an eternity to successfully trick people into visiting their webbies. So long, fuckers.

On another note, I hate to admit it, but I am again amazed by the effect of popping down 2 panadol tabs and to see your fever going down in  a matter of an hour. That was yesterday, when my stupid fever came when at class. Until I reached home at 8, LOL. Then I popped them finally. That's cool. My last time popping those little devils was in my stay at SGH. I took them like sweets man, at that time. No lah, joking. I mean, I take them every 4-5 hours, to relieve either fever or pain from the wound. Anyway, whenever they passed those tabs to me (including tramadol), I just popped them. Heehee.

WAH LAO EH.

UGH.

School has resumed. I am not liking every single one bit of going back to school.
All those confusions, mixed feelings, compromises and stress, as well as the decisions made on impulse, and every single thing I'm hating to think about has come back to haunt me.

I'd rather work, work, work to fill up more space in my pockets. Instead of study, study, study to get only but more stress. Seriously, it sucks big time.

Well, this is not stopping me from being optimistic about what lies ahead of me in the near future. I ain't!

On another note, I can rest more. Heehee.

I love the past few months. Nothing beats them.


Started first with the attachments. It's what I think of as a 180 degree turn directly from schooling. At NYP.
When at IAP, I realized that the education is very much different from reality, in terms of the real, working world. Somehow, the things learnt at school always seemed to be superficial, though deep and thorough. They can never compare to what we'll be preaching in the future. I can see that very clearly. 


I've gone throught IAP. It was fabulous. I made a new group of close, genuine colleagues that I'll swear I'll never lose contact of. They really made my day in the 'gloom' at F&N IPL-QC.


I reignited my flame of passion for working in Pepper Lunch, now at a higher intensity. Now I'm getting stuck more and more in the freaking Kitchen, for god's sake. :-) It's a happy note, not to confuse you peeps. Work is an eriching experience for me. I love how clean I keep my kitchen during closing. Hehehe. I'm thankful that I have this kind of clean-freak in me. Now my pay raised to $5.50 per hour already. Though small, I appreciate it.


Also, I have a fair share of experience achieved by working at Popular Book Fair event at EXPO. Loved my HODs. They are fun people. Sy and Jacq. I'll never forget them as well. Found out from Jacq that I am surprisingly strong when I appear to be the weakest. Especially when I do pallet packing. Hehehe. That one I have to admit. Don't ever underestimate skinny power. Well, she even said I have good performance. Well, one thing that I'm sure is that I probably won't go back to this line, especially with this kind of stale pay rate and gazillion number of rules and regulations. Hah.

I FINALLY SPLURGED AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN AEON!!!
I bought my bag. Though its not the Oh-branded-goods-glitter-in-front-of-my-eyes bag, I believe I'll love it as much as those who need one such bag. ;-)


Looking forward to my new specs, and new hair colour. Oh, and new shoes, even!!!

OMG, I forgot about my plans for a new wardrobe.